Skip to main content

DEAR ROCK STAR . . .

Over at the Chunklet Blog, they're making a little list:

We're coming up with a list called "Dear Rock Star" for the next issue which is a list in question form asking an artist/band why they did one stupid thing or another.

Here's a few examples:

"Dear REM, Why did it take you 14 years to figure out that people wanted you to shut up and rock?"

"Dear Bob Mould, why do you insist on DJing without a shirt on? You have ex-fat guy skinny guy belly."

"Dear Juno Soundtrack, why did you make the world a place where I can't escape the childish out-of-tune ramblings of the Moldy Peaches?"
Of course, I had to weigh in:

Dear Robert Pollard, I love you, but why the English accent? Have some Midwestern pride, for chrissakes! Your "A's" should be as flat as the Ohio Valley and your "R's" should be hit as hard as a punch in the face from William Howard Taft.

Dear Stephen Malkmus and Lou Barlow, Why do you play live when you obviously don't enjoy it? It makes Jesus cry.

Dear Craig Finn: I'm sorry you got a B- for your stories in Creative Writing 101, but reading them in front of a Bruce Springteen cover band doesn't make them any better.


PS. I know it might seem like I spend all my online time at Chunklet and Name That Film, but I really don't. They just trigger an impulse to opinionate all over the place. For example, I've recently discovered Post-Apocalypse, a whole site chock-full of post-apocalyptic awesomeness. I just hope that someday the Twin Cities will have a party like this.



----------------
Now playing: The Melvins - Eye Flys
via FoxyTunes

Comments

Anonymous said…
To call The Hold Steady a Bruce Springsteen cover band is just a touch ridiculous. Douches.
ash966 said…
Well, that's true--they don't actually play Bruce Springsteen songs. You have me there. But they do have the affect of a drunken lit major jumping on the stage and rambling on while a roots-rock bar band vamps in the background. But don't believe me, read Sasha Frere-Jones glowing review in the New Yorker, where he basically says the same thing. Somehow, he gives it a positive spin, which is what I don't understand. Why do hipsters who don't normally like spoken word or Springsteeny roots-rock love the combination of the two in the form of The Hold Steady? Please explain.

Popular posts from this blog

TOP TEN LIPSYNCH FOR YOUR LIFE SONGS FOR A DRAG KING EQUIVALENT OF RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE

 The Advocate has suggested that the greatest (i.e. only good) reality show ever, Rupaul's Drag Race , have a drag king contestant.  That's fine, but it would be much more entertaining to have a whole drag king competition. One of the best parts of Drag Race is seeing all the different types of queens compete: beauty queens, funny queens, conceptual queens, androgynous queens, scary queens, singing and dancing queens.  I want to see punk kings, gangsta rap kings, cock-rocking metal kings, panty-dropping R & B kings, country kings, baggy-pants burlesque comic kings, and of course, Elvis. I picked out some songs that make me think of different aspects of masculinity:  swaggering men, heartbroken men, lustful men, romantic men, philosophical men, and suicidally depressed men (interesting fact: I can think of dozens of songs by men about suicide, but only one female one: "Gloomy Sunday". What's up with that?) "That's Life" - Frank Sinatra

Things I Learned in 2020

Well, this has been quite a year, yessiree bob. But I’m being thankful right now of what I have and how my powers of Super-Introversion were activated by the current crisis as a laser-focus on learning stuff. Not that there weren’t many long hours of being too tired and paralyzed to move from the couch to the bed and vice-versa. And dusting and many other cleaning activities that didn’t aid in bodily sanitation were left by the wayside. Anyway, I hope that you too can make a list of things that you learned other than the details of the Electoral College.  How to make quick pasta sauce with canned tomatoes How to make instant oatmeal How to make creamed spinach Basic ASL Basic Inkscape Video conferencing with Zoom/Teams/Webex/Meet/Jitsi How to make ink-jet Shrinky Dinks Basic screencasting with Screen-Cast-O-Matic and Camtasia Online training creation with Niche Academy Online playlist transfer with Soundiiz Mask making Cuttlebone casting Intermediate Tinkercad Slide digitization Basic

WOMEN IN, ON AND AROUND FILM

Over at the Bitch Blog , they were talking about female movie directors, so I had to make sure psychotronic faves like Stephanie Rothman and Doris Wishman were given their due. I hadn't known that one of my favorite female badasses, the Kill-Bill -influencing Dag from Bury Me An Angel (introduced to me by Dr. S ), was also a woman director's creation (should've known). Then I put in a word for the woman who started me on my movie-obsessed path, the fabulous Pauline Kael . She taught me to own my loves and hates and call 'em as I see 'em. Maybe some people wouldn't consider her a feminist icon because she didn't always like the "right" movies, but read her review of Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore for some keen feminist insight. She totally terrified those guys in the movie boys' club. I mean, George Lucas named the villain in Willow after her! Here's Kael on the New Testament: Pasolini's The Gospel According To St. Mathew