Wednesday, April 26, 2006

There's a stupid Crest Whitening Strips commercial where a woman asks if we can tell whether she would have had a crush on David Cassidy or Ralph Macchio in high school. Now, that's why I think lying about your age is ridiculous. I don't want to study Backstreet Boys fan pages in order to convince people I graduated high school in 1998, it's just too much work. You could pretend you were living in a remote African village or that your intellectual parents prevented you from watching TV even at a friend's house, but we Generation Xer's bond on the basis of shared popular culture, so what would you talk about? Do women still lie about their ages on a regular basis, with the taboo against younger men/older women mostly gone? It's so fifties, like Blanche DuBois hiding in dim light so Mitch won't see that she's older than he thinks in A Streetcar Named Desire. Don't reject her because she's older than you, Mitch! Reject her for her habit of seducing underage boys!

Somewhere I read an interview with Chrissie Hynde where she said she never lies about her age because she likes hearing "But you look so much younger!". I agree, it's much better than lying and getting a raised eyebrow and a "Yeah, right!" look. Anyway, I'm going to go watch some After School Specials on DVD and then look for Dynamite magazine on eBay, so there!

Thursday, April 20, 2006

The photos from my NYC trip are up on Flickr now.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Why yes, I do like playing Centipede, thankyouverymuch

I was in one of my videogame-playing moods, the other day (for some reason when I don't feel well enough to concentrate on a book or movie I can still play video games), and the thought came to me: I like to destroy stylized things, but I wouldn't like to kill realistic centipedes, space invaders, blue ghosts, or play with realistic concrete blocks. The stylization makes the game experience better for me, it's not just some nostalgia for 80's arcade games. I enjoy when new versions of these games come with cool cartoony graphics, but I don't understand the importance of a realistic environment in gaming. How does it make the gameplay any better? Games are too realistic now. Look at the Sims. I can't even keep a plant alive, but I'm supposed to make sure a virtual person goes to the bathroom? If I wanted to do that, I wouldn't have "forgotten" to have children.

I'm going to start my own MMORPG, The World of Tikktaaktow. It's just like Tic-Tac-Toe, except it's in 3-D, you can play as over 100 mythological creatures, dress them in the costumes of 500 nations and cultures, you have to play in a horde of 100 people for it to be any fun, and you lose immediately for the first 100 hours you play. I'll make millions, I tell you! Millions!

The funny thing is, the other big hot game lately is poker. What could be more stylized than pieces of paper with crudely-drawn pictures of kings and queens on them? Maybe they'll be a new video version of poker where the kings and queens leap off the cards in 3-D form and pummel your opponent's cards when you win a hand.