When I am an old woman . . .

So, there's this group called the Red Hat Society , and they are all about women over 50 getting together and having fun. I'm all for that, but most of the things they do don't interest me. So when I get that age, I plan to start my own Red Beret Anarchist Knitting Society with my friends. Here are some things we might do:

1) Go to Balls or some other cabaret or open-mic night, and do some weird performance art thing. I'll wear a really bizarre outfit, too.

2) Go to a punk rock show and stand at the very front. Moshers wouldn't dare slam into a bunch of old ladies, would they? It'd have to be early evening, though, I already have trouble staying up 'till one AM.

3) Karaoke of New Wave hits of the '80s.

4) Do some graffiti. No one would arrest a bunch of old ladies for expressing themselves with spray paint and stickers. Or, we could combine street art and knitting like the gals of Knitta , thus avoiding accusations of permanently damaging public property.

5) Have Spencer Tunick photograph us all nude except for berets.