Skip to main content

DEAR ROCK STAR . . .

Over at the Chunklet Blog, they're making a little list:

We're coming up with a list called "Dear Rock Star" for the next issue which is a list in question form asking an artist/band why they did one stupid thing or another.

Here's a few examples:

"Dear REM, Why did it take you 14 years to figure out that people wanted you to shut up and rock?"

"Dear Bob Mould, why do you insist on DJing without a shirt on? You have ex-fat guy skinny guy belly."

"Dear Juno Soundtrack, why did you make the world a place where I can't escape the childish out-of-tune ramblings of the Moldy Peaches?"
Of course, I had to weigh in:

Dear Robert Pollard, I love you, but why the English accent? Have some Midwestern pride, for chrissakes! Your "A's" should be as flat as the Ohio Valley and your "R's" should be hit as hard as a punch in the face from William Howard Taft.

Dear Stephen Malkmus and Lou Barlow, Why do you play live when you obviously don't enjoy it? It makes Jesus cry.

Dear Craig Finn: I'm sorry you got a B- for your stories in Creative Writing 101, but reading them in front of a Bruce Springteen cover band doesn't make them any better.


PS. I know it might seem like I spend all my online time at Chunklet and Name That Film, but I really don't. They just trigger an impulse to opinionate all over the place. For example, I've recently discovered Post-Apocalypse, a whole site chock-full of post-apocalyptic awesomeness. I just hope that someday the Twin Cities will have a party like this.



----------------
Now playing: The Melvins - Eye Flys
via FoxyTunes

Comments

Anonymous said…
To call The Hold Steady a Bruce Springsteen cover band is just a touch ridiculous. Douches.
ash966 said…
Well, that's true--they don't actually play Bruce Springsteen songs. You have me there. But they do have the affect of a drunken lit major jumping on the stage and rambling on while a roots-rock bar band vamps in the background. But don't believe me, read Sasha Frere-Jones glowing review in the New Yorker, where he basically says the same thing. Somehow, he gives it a positive spin, which is what I don't understand. Why do hipsters who don't normally like spoken word or Springsteeny roots-rock love the combination of the two in the form of The Hold Steady? Please explain.

Popular posts from this blog

STILL HATING ON MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTIONS

Jason had an insightful post on newspapers in the Internet Age on his blog wherein he suggested we donate to keep the watchdogs of the press going. In an aside, he mentioned subscriptions for music: To be honest, it's the same thing with music downloads. I've been screaming for monthly subscriptions for years now, and they're still not here. (At least not on the scale of an iTunes or Amazon.) Of course, I had to respond. Jason: I'm sorry to hear you've been screaming for years--you must be very hoarse. I believe the service you're looking for is called Rhapsody . I don't know what counts as "the same scale", but they have ads on TV. I don't know why anyone would pay $12.99/month to rent music, though. I want to own my music, I don't want some company to be able to take my access away or jack up the price at a whim. Rhapsody's main market must be people who don't own much music, have a lot of electronic devices but no interest

ONE DEGREE OF SIMPSONS SEPARATION

Well, I can finally say I talked to someone who's been made into a Simpsons character. The great comic artist Daniel Clowes was on the show, along with Alan Moore and Art Spiegelman . I once called Clowes on the phone when my friend Susan and I were visiting Chicago years ago. I didn't say much, I was just so surprised that he was in the phone book and actually picked up. I also saw him at the College of Comic Book Knowledge with Peter Bagge (the Hateball tour). I believe Joey Waronker was the drummer for R.E.M. when they were on the Simpsons , but they never showed the drummer's face. I think there was some contractual thing--he was never to be considered part of R.E.M., just someone who happened to be on stage while they were playing. He may have been on the Beck Futurama episode, but I'm not sure. Maybe my friend Hellbound can weigh in on this. Of course, I knew Joey from Macalester and Walt Mink , back when only a few of us were regulars at their house-basement

IS OUR LONG OBJECTIVIST NIGHTMARE FINALLY OVER?

Now that the most powerful and influential Randian of our time has somewhat repudiated his views , can we put Objectivism into the dustbin of history along with Communism? I mean, just because you thought that scene of a rebel architect ravishing a socialite on the top of a tall building was hot when you were 20, should you base your whole political belief system on it? Two Girls Fat and Thin was good, though.